What if it was you and me?
by Dramatic Insanity
Summary: Julien has the inherent ability to attract all kinds. (A series of independent ficlets, showcasing a different ship per each chapter. Additional details inside. Contains Juliate, Koju, Jico, Julene, and more.)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** In which I paired up other characters with Julien as an experiment. They're very short but this was fun! There's one separate story for each pairing that I chose. Please use the index below to find the ones you want and avoid the ones you don't.

If Skipper hadn't been a possibility, I think I would've shipped some of these for real. As it is, Skulien/Skiju owns me heart and soul. Nonetheless, it was an interesting challenge to write ships for which I'm not emotionally invested.

They're based mainly around characters and settings from The Penguins of Madagascar TV series.

**Index:**

_**Chapter One:** Poor Choice of Words \- Private/Julien (Juliate)_

_**Chapter Two:** Assistant \- Kowalski/Julien (Koju)_

_**Chapter Three:** Junkyard Booms \- Rico/Julien (Jico)_

_**Chapter Four:** Naked Admiration \- Marlene/Julien (Julene)_

_**Chapter Five:** Interruption \- Dr. Blowhole/Julien_

_**Chapter Six:** Burning Love \- Maurice/Julien_

_**Chapter Seven:** Compromise \- Clemson/Julien (Clemju)_

(Anyone know ship names for Dr. Blowhole/Julien and Maurice/Julien? I don't have a clue asdfjkls)

If you think of a pairing that I didn't include, I'm open to suggestions! I don't promise anything though, since inspiration comes on a wing and a whim.

* * *

**Poor Choice of Words**

Julien bops Private on the beak and says, "You know how you are being such a cute little penguin?"

"Yeah?"

"You would be looking _even cuter_… under me…"

"I don't think so!" Skipper jumps out of nowhere and lands between the two. "Private is too young and decent for your sordid sexual advances!"

Private's eyes widen. "His whaaaat?"

Julien gasps and places a hand on his chest. "How dare you dis accusations! I am explainer-ing if he would be dating me, he can be at my throne and be in command with me. But he would still be _under_ me… in rank and physically! My throne only fits one booty - mine."

Skipper takes a step back, appearing sheepish. "Oh - I thought -"

"I know what you thought! I will have you be knowing I am not even interested in da sex things - with anyone."

"I suppose... that's acceptable," Skipper mutters. Private slides in front of him.

"Neither am I, Julien..." Private says, "So... You fancy me?"

"Couldn't _be_ fancier," Julien proclaims.

Private folds the ends of his flippers in front of himself and waddles closer.

"I haven't ever received a romantic kiss yet," Private tells him.

"Can I be da first?!"

Private nods, though he also bashfully ducks his head. Julien places a finger under his beak and lifts it to meet his lips.

They don't quite make it before Skipper pointedly coughs.

"I don't need to see this," Skipper grumbles. "I'm sure you boys can… _play nicely_ without me."

He leaves. They are able to finish the tender kiss. Julien wraps his arms around Private and strokes his back. Private relaxes and relishes the moment.

Private asks, "What do you wanna do?"

"Anything you want, since you are da cutest, you pick first."

"Is that all am to you is cute?" Private thoughtfully frowns. He's used to being called and considered adorable, but he likes to be taken serious for other qualities too.

Julien assures, "No, no! I am also admiring how you are brave, patient, and you have a big heart for everybody…"

He leads Private along while they talk. Private leans his head on Julien's soft form as he listens to Julien ramble on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Assistant**

"Hello, Mr. Kowalski!"

"Hey," Kowalski replies shortly.

He doesn't look up at the sound of Julien's voice, enticing though it is to his ear holes. Regrettably, none of the other penguins are around to distract him. Julien's focus hones in on Kowalski, which is kind of flattering - he usually seems least interested in him of all the penguins.

"What are you working on?"

Julien leans into his space to examine his invention. Kowalski fights the urge to push him away. He gives a short explanation, hoping that it won't be too confusing for Julien. He strokes his muzzle thoughtfully and nods.

"Are you needing any of da help?"

"I'm good thanks -" Kowalski grunts as he tries to configure a piece.

"_I think_ you are not entirely of da truthfulness."

"It's just… my flippers… I can't _quite_ get this part."

Julien wiggles his fingers. "You know dat Maurice is not the only one having of da thumbs."

Kowalski glances at him, then at his invention, and back at Julien. "I suppose you can assist me, but _please_ be careful."

"I am being da best assistant, don't worry."

Julien's thumbs do prove useful. He also has a gentle and nimble touch that provides extra help that Kowalski wasn't expecting. He can't stop sneaking glances at Julien. He notices that Julien's tongue sticks out when he concentrates.

Kowalski is so arrested, he accidentally electrocutes himself. He blushes hard when Julien takes his flipper and licks at the minor injury. His eyes meet Kowalski's gaze.

"I am of da good helping?"

"Yes… you're a great assistant."

Julien taps his fingers on the table and asks, "Do you want me again or for me to go away?"

"Oh… I think I want you, _very much_."

Julien's expression brightens. "I will look forward to it."

"Can I ask… why haven't you tried spending more time with me before?"

A nervous laugh comes from him. "You see, it is dat I am being more conscious of myself around you, and dat is being weird for me. I don't how to be acting."

"You don't have to act with me, Julien," Kowalski insists, "Just be yourself. I… I _really_ like you."

"I like you too!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Junkyard Booms**

Julien watches the penguins from his throne while they do drills. Their leader Skipper is very demanding, Julien doesn't envy them. He would get tired of the commands. However, the other three penguins don't seem to easily experience fatigue. Julien has boundless energy in his own way, but physical labor that isn't fun doesn't hold his interest, unlike dancing, which is fun.

He feels sadness and yearning watching Rico. Skipper, Kowalski, and Private have prevented Julien from hanging out with the handsome and most wild penguin. It's rude, because Julien is wiser now of the hazard. They don't think he's capable of learning from the past, but he doesn't really blame them. Rico's penchant for danger and chaos is matched only by Julien, out of the animals in the zoo. He should be a perfect match, but Julien is limited. Since Rico almost went full destruction mode, Julien is forbidden. He has to hang on every evocative glance that Rico is able to send his way. He can't stroll over and express his affections.

At least, in the daylight.

Come evening, he and Rico sneak out to the Junkyard outside of Central Park. Eggy joins them on the way, to be entertained by their mayhem. Julien doesn't mind, he loves kids. Rico does look mildly uncomfortable, but Julien pats his feathers.

"Eggy is having joy with the kabooms too," Julien says. "But don't worry, I will make sure he is being in da safety."

"Uh-huh, okay."

Julien is glad someone can believe in him. Rico is a penguin of few words, but he sends plenty of signals if one is careful to keep an eye out for them. For Julien's part, he watches Rico on an almost constant basis. Little else is more important.

Julien smiles at Rico's sharp laughter as they blow things up with no consequences. The fireworks aren't only in the explosions, but also in the intensity of being with each other. When he notices that Rico is starting to get twitchy, he slows down. Julien takes his flippers in his hands and sings his heart out. Rico dozes off. Julien strokes his feathers. He can't wait for tomorrow to turn to night again.

Julien and Rico haven't mentioned how they feel about each other, but some things don't _need_ to be spoken aloud, they are just understood.


	4. Chapter 4

**Naked Admiration**

Julien dangles on the wall of Marlene's habitat. His head and arms are inside, while his hind end hangs out. Marlene emerges. She stands at the edge of the water and scratches her back. The sight of her makes Julien's heart flutter. He reminds himself to keep his cool and not freak her out like usual.

Marlene turns to see Julien and screams. She covers her front even though animals are _almost always_ naked. His plans are not off to get a good start, but he can recover. Julien climbs over the wall and hands her a red paper heart. Their fingers brush, the touch sending delighted tingles up his arms. Maybe someday he can hold her hand for real.

"What's this?"

Julien answers, "Your secret admirer was telling me to give it to you."

"Oh yeah?" Marlene lightly chuckles. "You know secret admirers are supposed to be, well, _secret_."

"That is why I don't give away the name, silly -" Julien puts his hands on his hips and gives her a once over. "- And very pretty, otter."

"No one tells _the king_ to do anything, though."

"_Maybe_ I wanted to be helping a friend dis once," Julien argues.

Marlene rolls her eyes. "And lemurs hatch from eggs."

"Don't they?"

Cue another eye roll from Marlene, but it's accompanied by a fond smile. She knows that Julien has his eye on her for some time now. He is too _prideful_ to admit his feelings are _real_. She takes matters into her own paws before she loses her mind.

Marlene twirls Julien and dips him, to his shock.

"I secretly admire you too."

He makes a surprised sound that turns into a soft sigh when she passionately kisses him. He eagerly returns the gesture.

If this is a beautiful dream, he hopes he doesn't wake up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Interruption**

Locating Blowhole's new lair was child's play.

Skipper bursts in. "I'm putting a stop to your evil schemes Blowhole! I know about the… candles… what the haluski?"

Skipper trails off. When Skipper had gotten wind of Blowhole's strange activity, he was confident the dolphin was up to no good. He's not sure whether this situation could be classified as good. Candles and rose petals surround an amorous pair, who happen to be Blowhole and Julien. They're reclined on a circular bed. Julien's hands stroke Blowhole's skin as Blowhole is planting kisses on his neck and chest. It certainly shines a light on Julien's recent anomalous behavior.

Blowhole stops to level Skipper with an offended glare. He _should_ be counting his lucky stars that Skipper hasn't already attacked, considering he tends to jump in feet first without stopping to think or observe.

"It's extremely rude to be a rooster call, peng-u-in," Blowhole huffs.

"The only nefarious thing here is that you are being of da interrupting, Skipper," Julien complains.

"You're welcome to join us, though," Blowhole murmurs, "Right, my diamond of the sea?"

Julien hums and slowly kisses him. "Oh, yes, my dear Francis."

Skipper takes an uncertain step backwards. His expression probably suggests part of him is considering it, though. Julien lowers his eyelids and makes a _come hither_ gesture. Skipper's eyes widen at his audacity. He shakes himself. He _will not_ give in to his carnal side this day. He gets a glimpse of Julien's disappointed expression as he turns tail and makes for exit.

Behind him he hears their voices.

"That is being too bad… maybe next time."

"Tell me how much you love me, fuzzy wuzzy."

"I love you deeper than the ocean. That is a lot isn't it?"

"Ah, yes…"

Skipper escapes before his jealous heart and lustful mind can betray him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Burning Love**

Julien stares at his singed, bandaged hands with tear-filled eyes. Maurice warned him against playing with matches, but he didn't listen. He wanted to roast marshmallows for everyone. Why did the Sky Spirits always punish him for trying to be nice? Now, his insides also burn - with regret. How can he do his foot care routine like this? He can't stand to miss his self appointment.

An idea hits him.

He asks his boyfriend, "Momo, can you be doing da treatment of da royal feets? I am being due… but I cannot."

They haven't reached that stage of their relationship yet. It's not just that his feet are royal, they're sensitive. The slightest stoke can have him writhing. Might as well. He trusts Maurice, his best friend of many years and love of his life, on the deepest level. Maurice saunters over with the equipment. His eyes flick between Julien's feet and his face. He reaches toward Julien's feet in a false movement, his fingers not quite touching, and they curl inward.

"Get going, da feet can't groom themselves."

"Y-your majesty… are you sure?"

"Dead certainly."

Maurice settles in on the chair. He reassuringly strokes Julien's legs, then he gets to work scrubbing the feet and filing the nails. When Maurice brushes the ridge of his foot, he moans, unable to contain his pleasure. He expresses his gratitude to Maurice before he can completely lose himself to ecstasy.

"Anything to make you happy my king and love," Maurice responds.

He crawls up close to Julien's torso. He has to change the bandages on his hands. He kisses each palm before covering them again. Julien nuzzles him and embraces Maurice to his chest. They silently bask in each other's company.


	7. Chapter 7

**Compromise**

After Julien finishes arranging the parrot feathers into Clemson's new crown, Clemson hugs him. His fingers grip the fur at Julien's shoulders tight. He shudders, and Julien wonders if he will start crying with joy. Julien married him so Clemson could be king too, as he always dreamed. It's under the condition that Clemson doesn't try to kill him, his loved ones, or steal his duties, of course. It's nice that Julien doesn't have to bear the whole burden himself. Ever since the wedding, Clemson has become different around him. It's nice.

As for the marriage not being for love, it's not like anyone could love him like that, so doesn't even care if Clemson wants to take a lover outside the marriage. That doesn't have to be his business.

Clemson slides away. He lays a hand on Julien's cheek.

"Ah, Julien… I have a confession…"

"Is it dat you were scratching your family jewels this morning, then you put back da fruit you were picking, and Maurice happened to be eating dat one? I was seeing dat, but I won't be telling him. You should hear what I accidentally did to his mango one time…"

Clemson smiles and doesn't shush him like others might. "Not that. The truth is… my sweet, fabulous, regal Julien… I'm in love with you."

Julien shoves him away and recoils. "Dat is not funny!"

"It's not a joke."

"Impossibles. I am unloving-able."

"That's not true… Anyone who can't see - who doesn't love you - is a fool. I think you're the bee's knees, Julien, honest."

"Bees aren't having da knees."

Julien continues to frown in disbelief. He can't wrap his head around Clemson's farfetched claims. Clemson leans forward and places a delicate kiss on his lips. Julien slumps and attempts to hide his feelings in the juncture of Clemson's neck and shoulder.

Clemson murmurs, "I will do everything in my power to prove my love, whether you think you deserve it or not."

"I think I can live with dat."

Clemson kisses the top of his hand, which Julien then lays above his own heart.


End file.
